I Deserved It

Perak’s government now goes to BN. Well, as rakyat can see and think reasonably, you can judge it by yourselves.

That’s not my point, actually.

Pain had killed my laugh. Sadness brings a long dark way ahead.

huh.

i already felt something was going wrong. but i still didn’t concern about it. there’s a lot works to do. my head felt painful. but all works need to be finished.

I worked hard, but the results was embarrassing.

when it came to presentation yesterday, i felt very discourage and weak, however i still can laugh to prevent more bad things to come. and yeah, as I had already guessed it, we had been blamed and the worst thing is – i’d been attacked, although I was not the leader of group.

“your group is worst than the others”

yeah.. i admit it. I admit it.

And I give my respect to one of my friend who was very strong in handling the situation.

I’m really need attention from someone. But when i woke up from my long sleep this morning, I noticed there’s a SMS.

“I’m going to buy UPax. We had already always like this. We’re currently seldom contacting each other. So no matter lah kan?”

*ugh* ..my heart broken. I think I know what it means. sometimes I’m very busy doing works, so I have to focus on what I do.

I’m already weak, and now weaker by someone who was my strong support.

I can’t tell Mom and Dad, I don’t want them to be sad.

And I feel I deserved it. hm.. why?

I always late for my prayer because of the works. I seldom reading Qur’an. I laughed a lot. I did jokes a lot. I was playful (maybe).. and I sometimes didn’t concentrate on serious matters.

It makes me remember of what one of my friend said:

“Behave yourself, Nas. You’re a type of person that will be punished instantly for what you did”

omg. I think I found the answer. HE gives me a warning.. and I deserved it. Ya Allah, forgive me!

I’m regret of what I’d done.

everything’s gone wrong.

now I’m alone, again. but I had to move on. I’m sure there’s a light somewhere ahead. If I choose to be weak, I’ll lose my own life. My own game.

I feel sad for Dato’ Seri Nizar. I dunno why.