It’s like something is wrong somewhere. But I know that I did wrong. Yes, I did wrong. I did sacrifice but it’s not worth it. I picked the harder way but in the end I got unhappy ending.


This is the first time I encounter the term ‘duh’ and I guess I use the right term for it.

At this sec, I supposedly be together with the other participants listening to the talk for a financial management seminar and then enjoying the exhibition while looking for nice books. But I’m here in my room writing this sad thing.


I put my hard effort last night completing a part of work that need to be done. And I slept late. And yes, I’m late for the seminar. I feel really disappointed. But there’s nothing more to do. ‘Just let it be’ but I know that it’s just a part to make me a little bit happy. It’s not about make money but I feel that I’m prepared enough to go for it. But then I’m not.

But I guess there’s something wrong. It’s like I can’t control my own emotion. I can see my old hot-tempered is coming again. I become emotional while playing games. I became mad at her last night. And just now I punched the table and now I got a swollen fist on my left hand. Ouch. I’m afraid of myself.

Am I become older? Yes, but not like this.

Maybe I have to relax, take a deep breath, free my mind and slowly think and control my emotion before it’s too late.

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